Questions and Answers: Dear Ms. Soup: Hi, I was just wondering if you had any ideas to help me out. I am totally head over heels for my boyfriend. I really wanted to do something sweet for him that wasn't like generic. I seriously can't think of anything. I want to show him how much I love him in a special way. (And please don't say " Give him something you made". ) Thanks a bunch! - Kelli Dear Kelli: Okay, I won't. How about planning a very special day together where you take charge of all the arrangements. Plan it from morning till night. If you have no money, that's okay too. You can start by having him over to your house (with your parents' permission, of course) and make him a nice breakfast, then off to the park, zoo, movies, sports game, crafts fair (anything you think he'd like that you can enjoy too - but remember it's his day), perhaps you can afford to take him to lunch at a special spot, then off to another activity. Or just take him to dinner at a really cool spot - get dressed up and then you foot the bill. Or buy tickets to a neat concert that you know he'd enjoy. Or surprise him with a delivery of flowers (men like them too); have a movie festival over one of your houses, renting a whole bunch of tapes and make a picnic - blanket on the floor with lots of picnic type foods that you've prepared in advance. You get the idea! Dear Ms. Soup: Hi, it's me again. The advice you gave me before has not kicked in yet but it soon will I hope. I have something else to talk about now. I have a friend who is in a bit of a hard spot in his life. His girlfriend has left him. They were together for about a week but I hardly ever saw them together. After she left him, I overheard one of his "used to be " friends talking to his "ex". He asked her if she really dated him and she claimed that she had not. My friend knows about this and this "used to be" friend keeps rubbing it in and giving him dirty looks. Anyway, my friend has been acting as though he is not going to live through it. I told him that if he wants to talk about it I'm here. He's been through a lot of hard times in his life. I would like to know how I can comfort him in this situation and help him move on because he seems to keep too many feelings inside. Can you help? - Mike Dear Mike: What your friend needs to understand is that true friends do not do what the "used to be" friend is doing. Obviously that guy was never a friend in the first place. Your friend needs to ignore people like that - stay away from them and understand what's really important in life. The girl he "dated" may also fall in that category of unimportant. A week is not much time in the realm of dating so perhaps the girl didn't think of it that way when she said they never dated. I suggest you simply talk to your friend in a good sit-down chat somewhere private and tell him your concerns. Explain to him that friends don't act that way to each other and that they are simply not worth his time or consideration. Help him identify the things that are really important in life. Some people can only count one person in their entire life as their friend and think they're lucky. So find the little or big things that he can be thankful for. If he's good in school, for example, think of all the kids who have to struggle with their studies. We all take things for granted in our lives, forgetting to look at all the positives and only seeing the negatives. When we look for the good - even teeny, tiny things we can start to feel better about ourselves. For starters, he has you. That seems like a definite positive. Dear Ms. Soup: My mom often thinks that I am lying all the time even when it is the full fledged truth! It is really getting on my nerves. I love my mom and try real hard not to lie, most of the time I don't. How can I get her to stop accusing me of lying? - E.J. Dear E.J. I suggest you sit down and talk with your mother very seriously about the situation. What does she find unbelievable in the way you tell her things - ask her! Lying is one of those things that once you do it, you forever lose the trust of the person you're speaking with because they never know which is the truth and which isn't. So to protect themselves from being hurt, they just assume that you're lying. Have you ever had that happen with a boy or girl in your school? They make up stories about other people or things - would you ever believe anything they have to say after that? Probably not. You need to regain your mother's trust somehow and in order to do so, you're going to have to talk to her about what's going on. The old adage "honesty is the best policy" applies here. You and your mother need to both learn trust in each other. You said "most of the time" you don't lie, which means that some of the times you do. That's the problem and that's why your mother doesn't believe you. Sit down and talk to her and find out how you can avoid lying to her at all. Maybe with this newfound relationship you'll discover that she is willing to be more lenient in areas that you want her to be. Dear Ms. Soup: The name's Bond, James Bond. I was wondering if you could give this "Ladies Man" a little advice. I a currently single, and I have many women who would like to get to me. How can I tell them that all they have to do it tell me and I'm theirs? Respectfully Dear James Bond: If you already know they want you, then, you have no problem. If you're waiting for them to blatantly tell you "come get me" then you truly have been watching too many Bond movies. I suggest you come back to the real world and deal with women as people - with respect, understanding and honesty. Dear Ms. Soup: I've typed to you before about an older guy I liked, him being 20 me being 15. Remember?? Anyway, since then, I've taken your advice and found out that he is in fact a player and....what DID he want with a 15 year old girl? So, I'm back for more advice. Since about 2 weeks ago, I've met someone named Joe. We totally clicked and now we're a couple. I like him so much, it might even be love. And I can tell by how far I've gotten with him how soon. (but that's another story) And no, not sex. Anyway...about 3 weeks before I even knew Joe, I still had something for my ex boyfriend Danny. I told him, and he basically wouldn't give me the time of day. So I backed off...and all of the sudden, I get this note in school from Danny saying that he misses me and that when he kissed some girl last week, he thought of me. He also mentioned that he had had 2 dreams about me as well. And, he expects me to just drop everything for him again? He told me he wasn't trying to break me and Joe up, but why'd he have to do this now? Cause, honestly, I've ALWAYS had a little something for him, ever since we broke up about a year ago. I don't want to break up with Joe because the relationship's great. So far anyway. But what I wanted for a long time before I met Joe was to go back with Danny. Catch my drift? So, now, I find myself thinking about Danny more, and feeling really guilty. And I can't break Joe's heart by telling him that cause he told me the only reason he's motivated to do anything is because of me. And if I told him about Danny, he'd die. I need help, fast! PLEASE respond soon! Thanks! Carly Dear Carly: I think you'll find that by going back to the old boyfriend, you will have made a mistake. You broke up back then for a reason - why make the same mistake again? Don't get bogged down in the past. Also, it sounds like you have a good thing with Joe - it would be a shame to ruin that. But, if you want to explore the possibility of life with Danny again, I suggest you weigh the pros and cons of that relationship very carefully against what you have with Joe and see who wins out. Just remember that time passes, people change and all things evolve - meaning things may not be the way you expect them to be. Maybe Danny's trying to see if he can win you back, now that he knows you have another boyfriend (even though he won't admit it.) Gee, wasn't he just kissing another girl? He thought of you when he was doing that? Huh???? If he were so enthralled up with you - he would have been kissing YOU! If I were you, I'd remind myself of the good thing I have right now, and now what could-have, would-have, might-have been with Danny.